When I was presented the opportunity to complete a clinical rotation in a prestigious neurological rehab facility in the San Francisco Bay Area, there was no way that I would ever say no. The only minor thing standing in my way was the cost of living in Palo Alto as a broke grad student.
To make matters worse, there was going to be no way that I could find a subletter, so I would be paying both NY and CA rent at the same time. Sigh.
After crunching some numbers, I needed to find the cheapest option possible to be able to afford this rotation. I went to searching AirB&B and similar sites. I came across an interesting phenomena of this region: the Hacker Homes.
These networks of homes across the Bay Area are spaces adults of any background can live for short or long term stays. Surprisingly, they are everywhere here. The reviews were good enough and the places looked very nice.
I have extensive experience staying in hostels all over the world, so I wasn’t very concerned about the co-living aspect of things. Additionally, I was moving across the country to a place I have no friends or family at. It honestly felt safer to have SOMEONE that knew I existed out there in case something happened.
I knew it wasn’t ideal, but it was only 10 weeks and I am brave and strong.
What the listings do not address is ratio of males to females in these spaces. When I arrived, I learned it was 5 (including me) girls to 16 boys. My room houses 4/5 girls and the 5th girl was certified psycho, so it was a reallllly interesting dynamic. I also quickly began realizing the differences between a hostel in another country and this.
In a hostel, people are there to save money and make short-term friends for the time being. Here, there were very rich individuals CHOOSING to live in this space for social interaction. If you can imagine 15 socially-challenged tech bros all dying to talk to a woman….. it’s a slippery slope. I genuinely think that talking to me was one of the first times some of these guys got any sort of attention from a girl.
In a hostel, people mind their business. Here, I felt like I was always going to have someone annoying me. I am a friendly person and like to meet new people, but this was too much for me. These people were incessantly asking questions, wanting to know about my personal life, trying to be involved in the things I was doing.
Let me give you a perfect example:
For my birthday, I wanted to have a little entertaining fun and throw myself a party with the odd balls in this house. One individual offered to buy me a cake. He asked my favorite flavor, and then told me his favorite flavor of cake. Great, normal.
On my birthday, he opens the cake and it is HIS favorite cake. Which also happens to be blueberry, which perhaps is one of my least favorite foods ever. He then silenced the room by singing his rendition of happy birthday in Polish at the top of his lungs. Immediately after he asked if he could come to my hospital to have lunch with me. I can’t make these things up.
I began a running note of the seriously strange things that were occurring. Some of the highlights:
- Rotting meat in the fridge, owner saying it doesn’t smell bad so he won’t throw it out. It smelled bad.
- Roommate would keep gallons of milk sitting out on the dresser in our room unrefrigerated.
- Roommate getting norovirus and throwing up/pooping in the shower for about 6 hours straight.
- The “gym” in the backyard consisting of a broken mirror, rusty bench + tower with one barbell, and a snapped cables machine. Frequent hangout hotspot for the bros.
- Roommate frequently using a blender at 9:30PM
- Opening the shower to find shaved pubic hair covering everything
- Elderly man roommate telling me he was living there to save up to buy embryos to become a single dad by choice (perhaps the worst one imo)
- Roommate calling the police because she became convinced someone had built a device to open the trunk of her car. I was then selected to be the witness and mediator of their fight.
- Someone leaving the gas burner on the stove on overnight because they “didn’t know it needed to be turned off”
- Bunk mate smelling so bad we bought air fresheners and sprayed her bed daily so the smell wouldn’t waft
- Roommate buying a bunch of cameras and putting them all over the house that only she had access to with no permission or rationale when caught
- Female roommate fell asleep on the couch alone and woke up to male roommate rubbing her feet as she slept.
- Hookups on the communal living room couch
So do I recommend this experience? Absolutely not. I was originally trying to find the bright side to all of this strange behavior, but after being sexually harassed on my last day there, I decided I hated everything about this.
The type of person that will thrive in this environment is a male that is socially awkward, has poor hygiene, is somehow rich, and snores. If that sounds like you, this place is a perfect match!
To give them the benefit of the doubt, there were a handful of normal-ish men living here that I never had an issue with. They tended to spend little to no time at the house. However, I think you have to be slightly weird at heart to thrive here.
Despite all of the above, I loved my time so much in California that if I had to go back and do it all again, I would just to live in this state one more time. However, if I went back to this house I would never talk to anyone and fully keep to myself 100% to avoid the freaks.
P.S. I originally wasn’t going to write this or single anyone out to respect privacy, but after he made inappropriate comments about my body to my face on my last day, I am personally blasting this strange man who wore the ugliest outfits for many days in a row until he reeked. You were weirdest of them all!
